Yesterday was kind of an emotional day for me. Ok let’s be honest, everyday for quite some time has been a bit emotional. I long for the days where the only time I cried is if the drive thru lady made my food wrong. (This really is no joke, I take my dinner very seriously!) As most of y’all know I had a job interview yesterday. I think it went pretty well. I left with a big decision to make, and quite a few options to choose from. Driving home I may have felt just a tad overwhelmed(actually I still do).
I started thinking about how God places people in our lives at just the right time, and for just the right amount of time. I would have never agreed with the last statement, had I not lived through the past year with my particular set of circumstances. Time and time again in 2015, I experienced just this. It was the hardest year of my life thus far. I faced things I never thought I would or could make it through. Oddly enough, here I am, still standing.
Enough about me, back to the people… There have been some that stepped in just for a few days, some that were there for me for only an instance, and some that will be there for my whole life. Recently even a few old friends that I thought were out of my life, have returned.
I’ve learned not to hold onto anything tighter than you hold onto God. If someone is meant to stay, they will be right there beside you steady and sure, just like a trusty old hound. I googled the definition of hound, and my favorite description is: to pursue relentlessly. It even lists some synonyms: pursue, chase, shadow, follow. Be hot on someone’s heels, hunt(down).
I left the sliding door open as I stepped out into the backyard yesterday, I heard the all familiar sound of little old doggie footsteps follow me out. I sat down at the edge of the porch on the concrete step, thinking I would spend some time praying about the next step in life, and how to start a career at such a late time in life. Little did I know, Frankie’s dog Kam, was about to teach me a lesson. I plopped down and before I knew what was happening there she was sitting ON my feet, panting for attention!
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”
I could have told her to move, but something stopped me. I started thinking about how she’s been following me around constantly for weeks. I can’t move without her knowing and following. If I sit on the couch, she sits at my feet. If I eat lunch, she’s found laying under the table. I would say that’s because she’s a dog, and dogs love everybody. I don’t think that’s true at all. She has claimed me as hers, and I’m quite alright with it.
“But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”
All this “Kam time” yesterday, made me reflect a little on my relationship with God. Obviously, Kammie knows I won’t harm her, and I’ll give her good things like food! Does she come to me just because of that? Nah, she doesn’t need me for that, because her master would feed and water her. She sits at my feet, because she just wants to be near to me. She watches where I lead, and she follows. All I have to do is call her name and she comes running. Now, you might be thinking: how does this apply to my relationship with God? Well… Let’s start at the top. Kammie follows me, period! She doesn’t question me daily, wanting to know if will be there for her. SHE. JUST. KNOWS. There is no doubt on her part. She knows that even if she dozes off, I’ll be there when she wakes. Perhaps that’s why she sleeps so much. If we apply this principle to our daily walk with God, wouldn’t a lot of our worries just drift away? We would certainly have a lot more time to nap in the warm sunshine like Kam.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
So, let’s talk about the significance of her sitting at my feet. Maybe it wouldn’t have made anyone else have such deep thoughts, but you know me, my mind is like a steam train traveling a hundred miles an hour, and words are the coal that brings momentum to propel me. So I sat and I thought a good while… She didn’t come to my feet because she was hungry, or wanted me to pet her. Kam just simply wanted to be where I was. Of course I petted her and loved on her, but that’s not her sole reason for wanting to be close to me.
I personally need to spend more time with God just because I want to be near Him. Not because of what he can do for me, but because of what He’s already done. Thinking of what I’ve made it through, I know God is the reason I made it. So, what if instead of automatically worrying and complaining to him when a problem arises in life, we trust Him and choose to sit at his feet and worship? Instead of being miserable, we choose to be joyful? Instead of holding on to past mistakes and hurts, we just let them go and keep moving forward? In the bible they were taught not to look back, or long for what once was.
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…”
The concept of not looking back, doesn’t mean we forget what we’ve been through, or from whence we came. Some things we would love to forget, but there’s a reason God gave us memories. What I’m saying is this: remembering and desperately holding on, are two totally different things. When you are holding on, you spend way too much time trying to “fix” things yourself. You seek things that have probably been removed from your life for a reason. To remember, is to know what you’ve overcome, and to use it to change the way you live know. Use it to help someone else make it through their struggle. Use it to be a better person for those who do choose to stay in your life. Use it, or let the opportunity pass you by? I guess that is completely up to you…
“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”