Everyone out there at some point or another just wants to know that someone loves them enough to try to understand them. Someone to listen and be there when they need their “person.” Even if they never “get” you, them making it known that they are trying makes all the difference. What do you do when one by one your tribe is stripped away? You cope the best way you know how, I guess. I’m still figuring this one out, so I’ll have to get back to y’all.
The thing is, I’m the type of person who will set aside the things that are important to me, to be what others need. I’m having a real hard time with some things I’d rather not write about, but honestly it seems that I’m the odd man(woman) out these days. I’ve picked up the phone a thousand times to call a friend, but I know that said friend has her own stuff to deal with and I put the phone back down.
The one person who I thought would “get” the feelings of rejection that I feel too often, just doesn’t want to bother with the discussion. Ya know, after so many times of saying “this is what I need” one has a tendency to hang their head and throw in the towel. I’m not one to give up easily, but for most of my life rather than ask for what I need in a friendship/relationship, I just let me matter less until I’ve forgotten who I am. I’m trying so hard to build the relationships that are important to me. I want those I love to know they are important, so I go out of my way to make them see. It just seems at times that I’m standing in the middle of the road, waving my arms wildly while everyone I know just looks away and drives on by.
People say, “we’re just so busy”, or whatever reason, but the truth is, you make time for what’s important. It doesn’t matter if it’s 3 am and you haven’t slept well for days, if someone you love… Like really love, needs you, there’s no hesitation. If I need you to hold my hand, give me a hug, or listen please don’t brush me off. I wouldn’t do that to you. I know not everyone will choose me… But I think it’s time that I learn to choose myself.
I write a lot about hurting, but I also write quite a bit about love. Honestly, I’m tired of writing about the sad stuff. I’m tired of feeling the sad stuff. For the most part, my life is pretty darn great. I still struggle. Who doesn’t? For me loving someone means lifting them up… Lift them up with kind words. Lift them up with a hand to hold. Lift them up with a smile or listening ear. Lift them up in prayer. The key word is lift.
Maybe stop and think before you utter those words of frustration at someone you love. They could be telling you what they’re feeling because they feel like you are one of the most important people in their life. Before you get angry an snap at them, try to understand. When you’re too tired to even listen, remember you may be the only one they have.
I’ve heard the saying, “all we have is today”. I don’t think I ever really got it until just now. Someone today will speak their last words. Someone will be too ______(busy,tired, frustrated, etc) to be there for the ones they love for the last time. They will miss the chance to make their wife/girlfriend/best friend know how much they mean to them. Hopefully all of you reading this(myself included) will have many more today’s. We really have no way of knowing though, do we? So tonight I’m going to lift all of you up in prayer and leave you with a question or two. If someone you love, reaches out and says, “hey lets work on this relationship” whether it be friendship, or some other kind of relationship, do you send them away hurting? If today were your last day, would you leave here with people wondering what they mean to you? Or would they think, “man, I really meant the world to him/her?”